Monday, July 25, 2011

Loooooooooooooooong week ahead

My schedule this week? 10-10, 10-10, 9-5, 9-5, 9-5.  Busy busy little bee.

At least I can bring my laptop and tumblr & blogger all day =P

Cleaned the kitchen last night.  Cleaned the bathroom.  Need to vacuum the whole apartment but I'm really not going to have the time for a few days.  Hopefully I'll get my new bed soon!  I'm soooo excited, finally growing up and getting out of a twin bed!  I definitely am ready for a change in my life.  Moving to days at work, I need to start working out, or doing something.  I have started watching what I eat somewhat, just being aware of what I'm putting in my body.  The scale is gay because our tiles not level, like last night it said I had lost 6 lbs lol.  Def not.

I want to start wearing makeup and painting my nails and doing my hair and being a GIRL.  Sweet and sassy.

Thursday, July 21, 2011


I bought a scale today.  Thus begins my journey.

I don't know how radically honest I want to be, or if this is even the correct platform.  I'm not sure what markers and failsafes I can put into place to help me on my way to being healthier.  And happier.

I guess, in the end, the answer is me.

Always me.

Wesley and I are going to make lists of all the reasons we want to lose some weight.  Of course, he's practically a bean pole, but hey. 

So my dad's fiancee bought me a microwave.  You don't realize just how much you come to rely on such a simple innovation until you don't have it.  No popcorn, takes forever to make hot pockets, really difficult to eat many types of leftovers, impossible to make some kinds of frozen dinners.  Have to dirty tons of pots and pans just to make spaghettios and soup.  But no more!  =)

I've fallen completely in love with tumblr'ing!  Feeds my visual soul like woah.  Takes up too much time, of course =).  Also watched all 6 seasons of Bones in the last couple weeks, so I'm caught up for the new season this fall!  I am totally immersed in the world and the characters.  This is the first day in weeks I haven't watched Bones, and I'm definitely missing it. I've dreamt about the show/characters/world almost every night since I started watching it.  The only other show I've ever been this immersed in was Dark Angel.  Such good shows.  Coincidentally, both also on Fox.  Gotta love Fox.

Found out today the library here is uber awesome and doesn't charge late fees =)

Started a book, when I went and took my laundry on Saturday.  I was more interested in watching Bones though so I haven't gotten very far into it.  It's the fifth book (I think?) in a series I really like from an author I adore.  They're historical mystery romances set in the 19th century, but trust me, they are not as gross as they sound.

My dad changed out the radiator in my car so that's one more thing done that is responsible and costs a lot of money!  Yuck.  Been on the low side of hours lately, but I've got 40 some odd hours coming to me next week and then school starts back up soon so there should be more hours available.  I hope things start working out better and I don't have to work nights anymore, or that enough night hours open that I don't have to work days.  Flipping back and forth really super wears me out, and it's definitely most probably not helping me when it comes to my weight and health. 

I have had the sniffles since Wesley was down in April.  So has he.  It is really weird, and it really sucks.

Decluttering is a stop and start process.  Went through a box and a bag yesterday, got about a small wastebasket full of garbage shit I've been holding onto for god knows why.  Also got some crap to donate/give away, and found a ton of pairs of earrings I thought were lost forever.  Wore some to work today and felt super cute.  I'm going to start wearing earrings or a necklace or something to work every day (that I'm not running profusely late, that is) so I start feeling better about myself and caring about myself more.

I guess I REALLY need to start taking better care of myself, hygienically, too.  Showering more regularly, shaving more often, spending time on myself.  Putting lotion on every day.  Because I deserve it.  I deserve luxurious pampering showers and having smooth moisturized skin and hair.  I hate this rash I've had on my head for a few weeks.  I hate sweating and I hate being dirty and I definitely hate germs.

I've started picking up stamps and ink pads here and there, from the dollar bin things at Michael's.  I really like rubber stamps, I get that from my Baba.  All her letters come with a stamp somewhere.  Which reminds me, I need to write her back.  She wrote me spontaneously, and included some gift dollars to McDonald's.  Super sweet <3.

I'm not sure what I'm going to declutter next.  Definitely want to go through the Christmas stuff and get it into different boxes.  I've got 2 empty rubbermaid bins, so I want to move away from cardboard boxes and move into more safe and secure storage. 

I put all my books on my shelves last week!  That's a good one.  I picked a few more to donate/pass along, and lightened my load a little more.  Now if I could just get inspired to start reading these damn magazines piling up....2 subscriptions have run out, Cosmo and GQ, so that's less coming in.  I need to pick up the pace and start actually reading them, because I decided whatever isn't read by the time I move to Seattle is going to the recycle bin.  If I can't read a few stacks of magazines in a year, I'm never going to read them. 

This post is far too long.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

A very good thing

I'm not sure where you disappeared too, and I'm awfully sorry if I upset you or hurt your feelings.  I did not mean to, and I'm afraid I'm too harsh when I don't feel like connecting to the world.  I'm not sure what I was upset about, it just went away (I think) without ever manifesting.

More good news.  My dad asked Michelle to marry him, and she said yes.  They bought some land in Lake Butler, either going to build a house or buy a manufactured home.  They plan on getting a new bed soon, so I should have a big kids bed finally! =)  Michelle took me shopping today while my dad changed my radiator.  She bought me a microwave and a carry-on for my trip to Seattle and a ton of groceries.  I'm super blessed.

So I've decided I'm going to lose weight.  For real this time.  I'm going to buy a scale this week to get started.  Wesley and I talked about some goals.  The first and second set of 10 pounds my reward will be a pedicure....and when I lose 30 pounds, I'm going to get these sneakers!  They are the new Lunaglide +3 and I absolutely love them.  Of course, I may get to Nike and try them off and they feel awful, but then I'll just pick another hot pair =).

I've decided also that I want to read 25 books this year.  I've read 7 so far, so I'm a little behind on pace.  My problem, as is my problem with most everything in my life, is that I can't get started.  Once I start something, whoosh, it's done or close to done, but the act of starting is what holds me back.  A tip on one of the uncluttering blogs I follow is the one-minute rule.  If something takes a minute or less, just do it now.  So often, some of the minor things we put off or dread take less than a minute.  And when we put them off, they tend to add up or cause problems that take much much longer than a minute to solve.  It is an easy, simple preventative measure that actually helps me feel good about doing the crap jobs around the house.  I've also taken up with keeping the kitchen cleaner on a consistent basis--no dishes piling up, cleaning up messes as soon as possible.  Just in general a more proactive approach, rather than a stressful reactive approach.

So my goal for this week is to be more mindful of the calories I'm consuming and putting in my body.  Just watching, taking up keeping track again. 

Saturday, July 09, 2011

Yes, please

So my dad did a really cool thing last night...

He surprised us with tickets to Alhambra dinner theater.  We went and ate a scrumptious meal: spinach salad with gorgonzola, cherry tomatoes, walnuts, and mango saffron vinaigrette; lavender seared chicken, truffle mac n cheese, steamed veggies; and a wonka cake! Chocolate cake, chocolate whipped cream, regular whipped cream, m&m's, chocolate bits, blueberries, and strawberry drizzle.  Divine.

The musical was Willy Wonka!  It was way super cute, and I'm glad I went even though I had a crappy evening before that.

They're giving me a queen size bed, the first time I'll have a bed bigger than a twin size!  And Michelle said we're all getting cruises for Christmas.  Very exciting.  The best part, though, came this morning.  They're gonna go ahead and buy my ticket to Seattle for me!  I'll just pay them back as I have the money.  I'm going Oct 30 through Nov 6, and I'm so looking forward to it.  I had wanted to go closer to Thanksgiving, but it didn't work out.  Last year Michelle had bought us some tickets to Missourri that we ended up not using, so we're using those as vouchers, and the airline doesn't fly from Seattle to Jacksonville after that date in November.  Oh, well.  I'll see Wesley sooner! And also she's planning on getting a beach house sometime in August for a week.

So lots and lots of good news.

I need to do SOMETHING this weekend.  Something productive.  Definitely need to do laundry, I have no clean work clothes....things have been worn two and three times (oh yes, sniff test in progress).  My savior was that I got two new shirts this week, a manager polo and a promotion tee.  I hate doing laundry now, lugging it down 2 flights of stairs, all the way to the front office, and either walking back home and going up and down to transfer to the dryer and pick them up, or spending two hours down at the laundry room waiting to switch and then dry.  Bleh.

Also, not having a microwave blows.  I miss popcorn.  Our microwave died shortly after moving in, and I haven't the money and Kevin hasn't the inclination to buy a new one.  Ah, well.  Such is life.

I finished an excellent collection of short stories this week.  I really am loving the library being right across the street.

I'm stuck.  I haven't made much headway on my gigantic pile of magazines (3 subscriptions dating back 2 years, 2 other subscriptions dating back 3 years).  How can that information still even be valid, you ask?  Well Better Homes & Gardens, Self, and Oprah aren't really time sensitive, and GQ and Wired still have amazing articles and information in them.  GQ ran out this month...I think Wired should run out soon as well.  Oprah's subscribed for several more years 8) Thank the light for Coke points.

Caught up on my blogs today.  I love finding inspiration everywhere.  I just need to use it.

P.S. Morgan, please don't be daunted when you see your essay is 1000 words.  Think of how many words you post in each blog entry, and how long does that actually take?  The long part is picking an idea, researching, and citing.  The writing is easy.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

I don't know

I think tumblr might be more the style of blogging I'm looking for?  I just find all these lovely pictures and want to share them with the world. Instead I show them to Wesley, because no one else finds them lovely quite like he does. 

He is quite ideal, you know.  Except for lately when he's in a funk and can't or won't talk about it.  But he does try so hard for me.

I'm getting pretty fat, I suppose I should pay attention to that fact and work on it.

I've tried to restrict my sugar intake the last couple of days, albeit unsuccessfully, but I'm going to try for a few more days yet.  See if that helps me feel better, to sort of pin down what's going on with my body.  To be completely honest, I need to have a bland diet for a few days. Slim fasts, oatmeal, cereal, plain salads, things like that.  My digestive system has been out of whack for a while, along with just in general feeling poorly.  I'm scared to go down to the fitness center, even though every time I've been down there it's empty, just on the chance that someone will look at me judgementally.  I'm the biggest hypocrite I know--I am completely disgusted by obese people, yet I do nothing to rectify my own obesity.  Because I am obese, technically speaking.  I don't look gigantic, but I wear my weight well.  The last number I knew I weighed was something like 245, and I'm certain I've gained weight since then.  My sister and the guys all say I look slimmer, but my clothes are tighter and the way certain parts of me look when I'm not wearing clothes is disturbing to me.  I think I eat mostly when I'm bored, or sedentary.  Which is the majority of my home life....sitting on the computer, dicking around, playing WoW. 

I really miss our other house.  How much more connected with the outdoors I was.  I miss my walks, I miss the trees, I miss never seeing cars....I am not sure this city life stuff is for me.  I like, to an extent, living so close to everything, but I feel a huge disconnect from something important. 

Fucking feelings.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I give up

Not that anyone reads this anywayyyyy but I give up on the daily thing.  It's not even really interesting.

I think I might have diabetes. 

I realllllly need to start working out, now more than ever, if I think there is a serious problem with my health.

I have no idea how to be disciplined when it comes to myself.

Is this one of those posts where all I want is sympathy from the internet?  Apparently.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Super old but still my Morgan <3

Should I keep doing this?  I suppose I don't post with enough regularity to do a day 1, day 2, day 3 set of posts....

Last night and today were rough.  I stopped at Target to cheer myself up (terrible, I know, spending money to feel better).  I got a super cute frame to go with my other frames.  I dreammmm of the day when I have a mantle or sideboard covered in all different frames with lovely pictures in them.  All the frames I have now are turquoise and something.  I love love loveeeee turquoise. 

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

I love this picture! Of course it's only funny because it ties into a story that happened with some friends one night....

Well, let's see...I've worked every day for the last 4 weeks and I'm fairly exhausted.  No end in sight, honestly. 

I cleaned over 100 unread emails out of my inbox just by deciding that my time and not being stressed out by the large number was not worth the possibility of some uplifting quotes or ideas.

Nutella is fucking amazing.

Still working on getting my room together....working so much has definitely stymied that effort.  Too tired to do things, much rather veg out and do nothing. Ah, well.

Here's to hoping I get a day off, soon.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.




I have probably over 100.  I absolutely adore them. They were my first purchase on my Sam's card, a huge box of them. I get every collection that comes out.  In the original fine point, of course.

(I also don't think they are my MOST treasured item, but I wanted to do something happy =] )

Today is for putting things together, going through stuff, catching up on blogs.  Also sitting in a cave in Deepholm waiting for a rare spawn, oh yes.

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.


No picture!  Because I don't want to trade place with anyone.  I'm in love, hopelessly and wonderfully, and why would I want to trade that?

Life is going to be busy in the next few weeks.  Scheduled so many days.  More pay makes it worth it.