I think tumblr might be more the style of blogging I'm looking for? I just find all these lovely pictures and want to share them with the world. Instead I show them to Wesley, because no one else finds them lovely quite like he does.
He is quite ideal, you know. Except for lately when he's in a funk and can't or won't talk about it. But he does try so hard for me.
I'm getting pretty fat, I suppose I should pay attention to that fact and work on it.
I've tried to restrict my sugar intake the last couple of days, albeit unsuccessfully, but I'm going to try for a few more days yet. See if that helps me feel better, to sort of pin down what's going on with my body. To be completely honest, I need to have a bland diet for a few days. Slim fasts, oatmeal, cereal, plain salads, things like that. My digestive system has been out of whack for a while, along with just in general feeling poorly. I'm scared to go down to the fitness center, even though every time I've been down there it's empty, just on the chance that someone will look at me judgementally. I'm the biggest hypocrite I know--I am completely disgusted by obese people, yet I do nothing to rectify my own obesity. Because I am obese, technically speaking. I don't look gigantic, but I wear my weight well. The last number I knew I weighed was something like 245, and I'm certain I've gained weight since then. My sister and the guys all say I look slimmer, but my clothes are tighter and the way certain parts of me look when I'm not wearing clothes is disturbing to me. I think I eat mostly when I'm bored, or sedentary. Which is the majority of my home life....sitting on the computer, dicking around, playing WoW.
I really miss our other house. How much more connected with the outdoors I was. I miss my walks, I miss the trees, I miss never seeing cars....I am not sure this city life stuff is for me. I like, to an extent, living so close to everything, but I feel a huge disconnect from something important.