Status Quo

Ok.

The problem I always have is myself. I get too far in my head, overthink, over analyze, and make situations more important than they really are.

Solution?

Step back. Immerse myself in something else. Let time pass. Readjust my thinking. REALIZE, please, that it's not as important as you think it is.

Something that totally kills my knickers is the fact that if I don't like a guy, I can play him like a fine fiddle, right into doing what I want--putty in my hands. But if I do like the guy, I become a helpless sap, unable to get them to do anything I want. There's probably some deep seated psychological variant I'm missing, but until I figure that part out I need to do what I do right, to the right person/s. I'm not getting where I want to go with my current mode of action, so I need to change it. Step up my game, analyze the right things, instead of the things I have no control over. Think before I act. When in doubt, don't.

Alright then a few things I need to work on...myspace less. Seriously, as addictive as it is, it also tends to let one become creepy obsessive without any transition to the obsessive. It's just automatic. DON'T look at that! You know what I'm talking about. Don't look at it. The less information you know, the better, at least until you have a better grasp on your own head and your feelings. Once you are in control, then you can lay down the knowledge. Remember what happened before. Remember. Don't do it again. Insane--doing the same thing and expecting different results. You're starting it all over and expecting different results. Just because there is a precedence, and a deeper intimacy, does NOT mean that you can repeat. It's not wash rinse repeat. It's wash rinse...get the fuck outta the shower.

Do something DIFFERENT. Try it. Just try it.

Lex and Terry are right and you know it--you so know it. You HAVE to play the I Don't Care Card. It's the only way to win. Showing need pushes people away. Hold that mother freakin card and throw it down every time. Every time throw it down. It's automatic win. And you'll know when to hold the card. You'll know when to hold it if you are listening to your head AND your heart. Not just your vagina.

Ok. The plan for this week/end is to be as lax as possible. Do not pursue anyone at all. Just chill. Relax. Focus your head. Go for a run. Do some yardwork. Read. Clean. Get the rest of my stuff. Focus on me. My health. My happiness. And for god sakes girl keep putting on lotion cause your legs feel amazing.