From 07*26*08

First and foremost.

It helps when you have the volume on.

Made an impulsive purchase yesterday, turns out it may have been the best thing I could have done.

I bought "Twilight" by Stephanie Meyer. Watched the trailer for the movie, and it looked awesome. Then I found out it was a vampire book. I was like hmmmm.....

So. Nine bucks later. I cried through half the book. It is such a sappy love story. The vampire mechanics aren't even explained well.

But.

It thoroughly cheered me up. Made me feel better about everything, for some reason.

Listened to Delilah on the way home last night for some reason. Just for a bit. She said "There is no pain quite so excruciating as betrayal." And it nearly broke my heart. I feel as if I have been used and thrown away. My heart is literally hurt. Every time I think about it my chest gets tight and it's hard to breathe.

He takes for granted the fact that he can treat me horribly, lie about me, make me look like a bad person.....and that I won't say a thing.

The worst part is that he's right.

So resistant to change, some people are. If they would just embrace that times are different, situations are different, people are different. You don't remain the same person, even if you try to. You grow up, you mature, your tastes change. You can't continue to do the same thing and get fulfillment from it. You may not even notice how shallow your actions are, how hollow your soul is. And then someone comes along who changes your life. Changes your perspective. Opens your eyes. And you realize you can never be the same person. You can never go back to being the person you were before.

No matter how far you cut into your life to take me out, I'm always going to be there. In your head. Whispering.

Morgan is brilliant.

The subject of change is fickle. Everyone likes to think they respond well to it. Very few people do.

Morgan gave me probably one of the best compliments ever.

She said I was fluid. I respond well to change.

That made my day.