From 09*02*07

Written in early July.

A few words. All I need to do is add a few words everday and soon I will have a novel. A Tolsty or Doesteovsky--not some little harlequin.

From where does inspiration come? Of that I am not certain. A glance, a vision, some spoken word--it leads to a thought, and the semblance of that thought gives me ease, frees my soul to bring to light a veritable fountain of beauty and knowledge--full of truths and ideas and wonder. It's autoeroticism at its peak. Nothing can bring man more joy or pleasure than the fruits of his mind--the fruits truly worth bearing.

To know that one can contain the whole world's knowledge is joy inescapable. The products of the hand can bring pleasure--but it is the mind that plans, envisions, dwells, characterizes. Nothing can be without thought, and without thought be nothing.

All of humanity is there, waiting to be questioned. Every answer you need is already answered--the key is knowing what pattern, what illogical sequence and chance turn will allow you to see it.

Inspiration is fickle, it comes in like a lion, roaring and making his prescence known to the uttermost, and if not fed it is gone just as quickly, leaving a path of destruction and pain. Inspiration lost may be the greatest heartache ever experienced. To have thought and lost is worse than never having thought at all.

Is there any originality left at all? Is there a thought I could have that has not been thought before, several times over? Perhaps a new arrangement of words, a new grammar scheme, but a new idea? Antiquity held thoughts we have yet to rethink--what makes us capable of thinking more before processing what has come to pass?

Are there not languages, entire civilizations, that have yet been found, much less understood? We seek to understand ourselves and yet our history, most integral to who we are, is unconceived fully. We know not where we come from, how can we know where to go?

Answers are never fast, and are even less seldom easy. All answers require knowledge, a way to access that knowledge. A unique neural pattern for each answer, no end holding more than one answer and only one answer on each end. And different for every receptor. And no two minds can completely conceive the same--always differences, whether spoken or felt or never fully realized.

The matching of two minds is the universe's ideal--when two independent beings come together to acknowledge this great gift--amazing and fulfilling every time.

It is this which I wish to give you, my complete awe and wonderment and deference to the greatness that is me, the magnificence which is you.