From 06*03*07

WOW I am a crybaby. I complain a lot about things not worth complaining about. Today was the first day of the rest of my life. I showed maturity, learning, and patience. And it was a good feeling.

The new hard part is not giving certain people places and things to much of myself. Not jumping to conclusions or making more of a friendship than it is meant to be.

I miss you. I wish you would call me or text me.

Growing up is hard. I'm watching Jenna do it, Wayne's doing it, John and even my sister. I'm watching other people not do it, no names there. I wish other people would get it and do the same, but not getting what you want is part of that life thing we have.

When you die what happens? More and more I've been thinking we just stop. Fail to exist. It's not hard for me to fathom. It's harder for me to fathom eternity, living forever. This earth is not going to be here forever--humans are only going to be around for so much longer. It's inevitable. What happens when the earth ends and we are still there, in heaven or whatever it is going to be called? What is the point?

I'm not questioning you. Or faith. Or god. I'm questioning forever.

How long does it last?

I'm not sure how to do people. I've never been good at it. But you know what? I don't think anyone really is. Some are better than others, but no one is good. People are hard, they are unpredictable, finite, and impossibly incomprehensible. And they all end up betraying you one time or another.

How far do you let someone walk on you? When do you know enough is enough? Why aren't some people enough, while some people are too much? It amazes me that we can find anyone at all willing to put up with us while we put up with them.

I ask way too many questions and don't come up with enough answers.