C

Censorship. I feel lately that I have been censoring myself. Of course, I'm well aware of the reason. Someone has come back in my life who I feel particularly vulnerable towards and while there are a million things I can, will, and want to say to this person, it is the reception of those things that worries me. So I edit what I say, I refrain, I hem and haw and debate over something that should be second nature.

Not as if this person would ever read this.

Cookies. Girl Scout cookies just came in! SOOO happy. I got two boxes of tagalongs (the peanut butter filled ones) a box of Samoas (the coconut ones) and a new kind, Dulce de Leche (caramel & shortbread, it looks like). I love me some caramel, that's for shizzle. But I just bought a thing of oreos the night before, not knowing they were in! So I am on cookie overloard, rofl. Of course I already ate a handful of tagalongs. They are my favorite in the whole world. Until I eat them and I realize they're pretty good but not the best, but hey, nostalgia's a bitch.

Can't sleep. After my work week from hell (some triples, some doubles, close to no sleep) my body is all thrown off. I lay down and sleep for a few hours and get up. And yesterday, I slept for ten hours, and woke up more tired than when I went to bed. There has got to be some technique to get my body to feel rested. Maybe I should go for a jog or something today, get my circulation going, and then come home wash up and conk out. Reading keeps me up, music keeps me up, white noise makes me cold or hot, doesn't matter if it's light or dark. Can't sleep.

Content. It's something I've felt all week. Just having certain things in my life again, it is so amazing to me what a difference I feel. Even with all the drama, there is just his deep seated feeling of peace. That's gotta count for something, right?